As I sit down to write this, my heart is heavy with the reality we are facing. Our farm, a place that once buzzed with life and the promise of a brighter future, is undergoing serious changes. Today, we had to make the difficult decision to drastically downsize, and this shift has brought with it a wave of emotions and reflections.
A Farewell to Remington
Our first Navajo Churro Ram, Remington, saw his last sunset last night and his final sunrise this morning. It was a poignant moment, one that marked the end of an era on our farm. Remington wasn't just another animal; he was the heartbeat of our herd, a symbol of our hopes and dreams for a thriving farm life.
Due to my current health condition, I was not able to be the one to handle Remington's final moments. This weighs heavily on me because I have always felt a deep sense of responsibility in raising the animals we care for and being the hand that slaughters them. I respect our animals in so many ways, and being involved in every step of their lives is a significant part of that respect.
Wishing for a Different Reality
I wish things were different. I wish my health wasn't in the state it's in. I wish I could be more present, more involved. But wishes are just that—wishes. Reality, on the other hand, is unyielding and indifferent. It doesn't care about our desires or our dreams.
Milly's dramatic influences have only compounded our challenges, making our vision of a better life with farm animals increasingly unattainable. The stress and strain of dealing with her toxic behavior have left us with no choice but to scale back our operations and reconsider our priorities.
The First of Many Difficult Decisions
Remington's passing marks the first large animal we've had to slaughter on the farm. It was a decision born out of necessity rather than choice, and the fact that I couldn’t take part in it makes it all the more painful. The farm has always been a team effort, and not being able to fulfill this role feels like a significant loss.
Reflecting on Our Journey
As we navigate this transition, it's impossible not to reflect on the journey that brought us here. The farm was supposed to be our sanctuary, a place where we could build a life of meaning and fulfillment. Despite the hardships, there have been moments of joy and connection that I'll always cherish.
Moving Forward with Resilience
Though this chapter is closing, our story isn't over. Downsizing the farm is a tough decision, but it's also an opportunity to focus on what's most important—our health, our family, and our well-being. We may be letting go of some dreams, but we're holding onto each other, and that gives me hope.
To everyone who has followed our journey and shared in our dreams, thank you. Your kindness and understanding mean more than words can express. We may be facing a different future than we envisioned, but we're facing it together, with resilience and love.
A Personal Note
Writing this has been both cathartic and sobering. It's a reminder of the impermanence of life and the importance of cherishing every moment, even the difficult ones. As we move forward, I'll continue to share our story and the lessons we've learned along the way. Thank you for being part of this journey with us.
Though we say goodbye to Remington and many aspects of our farm life, we hold onto the memories and the lessons learned.
We will make sure every bit of Mr. Remington is used.